I need to talk to my computer.

The text on my phone reads ‘we decided quite amicably to divorce…’

This text came a little while ago from a very dear friend. And while I knew this was going to happen, it is still a shock. She is the first of all my friends to take this step.

Like I said, I knew this was going to happen, she had been talking for some years now about her dissatisfaction with her marriage, her life, etc. They’ve been trying for several years now to keep their marriage together, but I guess, some things just aren’t going to work, no matter how hard you try. The funny thing is, she’ll be the first to tell you that her soon-to-be-ex-husband is a very good man, a totally nice guy. He is cute, good looking, intellectual, funny. But these two people are even more mismatched than my husband an I are. While she is cayenne spiced hot chocolate, he is plain vanilla, when she really needs,  say,  Madagascar vanilla, and port poached bosc pear to go with. I don’t know if you follow me on that. Comparing concepts and ideas to food is a thing with me. 

But knowing her for, gosh, 16 years now, I know her as a passionate, very life affirming woman, who needed so much more in her life than she was getting. She was constantly trying to fill her life with things. Expensive, time-involved things, which I recognized as her way of trying to bring a deeper meaning into her life. She raised three smart, accomplished, self sufficient children, but that didn’t define her then, nor does it now. She is more than that.

While I feel sorry for their kids, I know that between her and her husband, they are wonderful parents, and I know the kids will be as well taken care of as possible. Does it compare to having an intact family? Of course not. But they’ll make it work.

Now, I can selfishly hope she’ll move closer to me again. We are quite different from each other in many ways, and yet, the best of friends. I love her dearly and look forward to watching her unfold her wings.

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