I am sorry for my long absence. Getting ready for my father in-law’s arrival kept me very busy. Additionally, my husband was gone for a month and I had to take over his jobs in addition to mine, at home as well as at work.
Now they are both back since sixteen days (yes, I’ve counted them) and we still haven’t settled into a routine.
Last night as we were trying to sleep I asked my hubster of eighteen years.
‘Will we ever feel normal again?’
He: ‘I don’t know. I hope so.’
This about sums it up. Yes, I could go into details about why things aren’t feeling ‘normal’ or why the old man is unhappy, but what would be the point?
Maybe the problem is that all of us have unrealistic expectations based on assumptions on how he should feel and we should feel.
We expected to feel as always, just with him around.
He expected to feel as though he was still at home in his old surroundings, just with us around.
And things are about to get worse for my poor FIL. Once I start teaching the kids again next week, and IT man goes back to work, the old man is about to get even lonelier. What can we do? I can’t put my life on hold for the next x-number of years to entertain an old man!
And that my friends seems to be the reality of life. The wheel keeps turning even when we slow down to an almost imperceptible pace. Someday, that will be us.
We will be trying a few things to see if they would make him happier. But it may just come to what IT man has been saying all along, ‘he has become a grouchy old curmudgeon in his old age, and nothing will change that.’
As miserable as we all are, I am trying to take this as an opportunity for personal growth. We rarely change unless propelled or prodded in an entirely annoying way by life-changing events. This is one of those. And it is entirely up to me to decide whether I learn from it or not. While I do not have the power to change this event or make it go away, I do have the ability to control my reactions and behavior.