Yesterday, the lady in question posted a picture of herself all made up (very tastefully so) in facebook without hijab. This photo was taken after the separation from her husband. The difference between her Muslima pictures and this one are staggering. And yet I withheld my opinion, and just told her she looked amazing. Which she truly did. Her photo received dozens of ‘likes’ and rave reviews. But by morning the picture was gone. Feeling this was a personal choice I didn’t think much of it. And this evening it is back. Out of ten comments, three were from other Muslimas asking where her hijab was. No compliments, only the question which could have been quite casual, or accusatory (I don’t care which). After the last ‘where’s your hijab?’ question I posted the following in response to her status update (photo):
“[Friend], be who YOU are, with or without hijab. Be the loving, mother, funny friend, passionate hobbyist, that you are. If a hijab makes you feel good, wear it. If not, especially in light of recent events, don’t. You can also just wear a scarf, if you think your god will be more kindly inclined. Just, whatever it is, don’t let our voices be your guides, but the quiet voice which resides in your heart. And know, whoever are truly your friends, will be so, with or without hijab.”
I feel sorry for her. Divorcing is hard enough I am sure. Divorcing with three kids (previous husband), some with learning disabilities, must be very hard indeed. Now she must wonder if those she thought of as friends, may not be simply based on what clothes she is wearing. May whatever god she believes in, guide her decisions, and give her strength. She’s gonna need it.